Think, write and get lost

Many times as humans we tend to feel the need to always have the answers, always have solutions or reasonable explanations to what is, what is not and what lies in between. As we learn more and more, we should realize that we know less and less. This realization may not cause us to have any less conviction in the “why” section of the way that we choose to live our lives and where we have committed our faith. We should be, however, more open-minded in our understanding of how other people live their lives.

As much as I would like to somehow (temporarily) live outside of this body, float outside my thoughts and experiences only, and really see what it is that makes up our complete existence, I am not able to do so. But, I try to see people as a big picture, not just as an action or an in-the-moment choice, but as the perpetual result of their experiences, understandings, actions.

Our world is changing daily and as we speak, what has been stated as facts and absolutes are now deemed as options and mere possibilities. We are afraid to state as a matter-of-fact who we are and what we believe, when years ago, the basis of how we lived our lives was hinged upon those very declarations.

I wonder, where has the very root of these changes even come from? Who has thought to question the way life is lived? Was it someone just poking to be different and to go against the grain, or someone in deep search for their truth outside of the norm?Are these questions a battle to be fought, or a wave to be caressed and rode out into the next phase of life? Are we as a human race leading ourselves into a greater realization of who we are and what we were created to be or are we exposing the frailty of our existence toward self destruction? Becoming our own gods-our very own creators. People with thousands of problems and twice that number in answers-yet no solutions, still no solutions.

Perhaps one day we will confess that we do not know it all and that, just like you, there may be a teeny tiny chance that we ourselves have missed the mark, too.

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Fear Factor

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I enjoy sitting in front of this computer, but it seems I never have the time, but deep down, the truth is, there is time when I make time, and I have not been making time the way that I know I can. There are always thoughts and ideas running through my mind of what I can write about, but most times, these inspirations are suppressed by Fear. Fear has turned my dreams into a nightmare and Procrastination has been its sedative!  Day after day I awake with a heart filled with passion for things I would like to see happen in my life; publishing a book, becoming a certified Sign Language interpreter, starting a side business…and the list goes on. As the numbers of candles on my birthday cake go higher and higher it is clear that I am not getting any younger. Focus and motivation dance before me, like two blind flames relentlessly fighting in the dark; sometimes energized and ready to win and others, distracted by the desire to simply stay aflame.

There are many different kinds of fear that contend against me putting effort toward my goals, but it can all be summed up as the “Fear of the Unknown”-not knowing whether I will succeed or fail, lingers in the back of my mind. It’s hidden under almost every excuse and distraction and is often found in the basin of what appears to be progress and busyness. Procrastination is always moving, appearing to be active, but is never productive. It makes you feel as if you are making headway, but never renders any edible fruit or proof. In order to realize our goals, we have to pull Fear and Procrastination from the bowels of our thoughts and stare them in the face and create a counteractive plan.  It is not an easy thing to bring the subconscious to the forefront of our minds, so we must practice it. Routinely ask ourselves a few questions and evaluate what’s holding us back and then take steps in a progressive direction.

There are many things in my life that require my constant and loyal attention like my God, my family, my finances (employment) and some others. The loyal managing of these things can cause the other, more personal goals to be placed on the back burner, especially when there is the physical and mental need to rest. I know that taking care of myself is of utmost importance because if I don’t take care of myself, I may eventually  not be well enough to take care of anyone or anything else. But there also needs to be time and focus designated to step-by-step work on my other goals. It is this understanding that forces me to identify my Fear and push past Procrastination and at the very least, make the attempt toward achieving my goals-something that, I’m glad to report, I’ve already started. Stay tuned.