Aside

This feeling, similar to the way a single woman feels after falling in love with a knowingly married man-

Being the culprit of an idea once so far removed that it would make her loathe the very thought, 
but some how, the concept is now not that bad
and the consequences understandable-justifiable even
“He’s different and so am I”
The blindness that covers the mind
Not too soon looking in retrospect seeing where a way of escape from this hopeless temptation was provided,
but today seems too late, 
already caught up, unable to undo this sinful vow, 
the only thing left is to pray he never leaves….

Vicarious

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Aside

In a matter of days three world renowned deaths,
One sticks out in mind
Execution by hanging-seemingly a thought-a threat proclaimed against a fearless dictator
Seconds dwindled into fate and the pages of your life read, “The End”
I wonder, although your face was calm, what was in your mind?
You declined a mask to cover you, as you welcomed eternity,
Appearing ready and expecting to hear, “Well done” as you closed your eyes and breathed for the last time
Who were the men who prepared your body to take its eternal plunge? And what beats at their hearts this night? (Which in their time is really day)
This I wonder as I lay my head to sleep and they rise from slumber…
Vengeance is God’s, is He pleased?

Is God Pleased?

Untitled, written the night Saddam H. was executed!

Aside

I cried at my grandfather’s funeral, mourning not for the loss of life, but for precious memories that were never formed and infinitely severed ties between myself and my history

Now, a grown product of a man with different baby mommas, who 30 years later still blames our disconnect on, baby momma drama

Toward him I really desired to feel hate, I looked for it behind every broken promise, every unreplied text or ignored call, sometimes I wish to have never loved him at all

To find like many others, solace in, ‘I can’t miss what I never really had,’ but instead of having just a father, I wanted a dad

To him I forgave for walking away to claim kids that he did not even experience the pleasure of creating while leaving my heart begging, praying and waiting for a love that should have been rightfully mine, an act summed up as another waste of time

What’s greater, the intensity of love or the bondage of hate? Or to create a child with no desire to participate?

As roots take place and grow, becoming one day un-remorsed and unable to be controlled a vicious cycle- only imagining the unknown

Based on the physics of a present reality, creating in the mind a possibility, a might have been, or a maybe,

I could be the descendant of a slave or perhaps from the line of a builder of the Panama Canal

But some things I’ve resolved to never know

Father, Untitled

Aside

Layers and layers of people we encounter moment by moment, Oh, for the secret thoughts and battles of the mind to be revealed. . .

The real you, the real me padded and primmed, tucked and trimmed; gently covered like knees under church doilies, clasped like staunch prayer fingers aiding in the request for deliverance from condemned temptations, but, “The Lord looketh at the heart”…

Uncovered

Wisdom (simple thought)

James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

 

If we ask God for Wisdom concerning our day to day encounters and experiences, we will have a better perspective on how we should respond to people and situations. Wisdom gives insight to the purpose of things that happen. Knowing the purpose of things that happen leads to endurance and endurance leads to victory.

Wisdom->Purpose->Endurance->Victory